it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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