hotel room ftw
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
