The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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