yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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