When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
