Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
