North Korea, Best Korea!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is the high leading the old right now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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