I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
