rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
