She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
