Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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