She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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