Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
