Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
