Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
