shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
