Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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