Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
