Your dad touched me again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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