sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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