So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
