I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
