Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
