How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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