Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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