moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
