woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
