She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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