I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
