i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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