I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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