I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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