I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
