Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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