We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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