Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
