I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
