Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
