just tell him i said nine months
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
