Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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