i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
meet me or not, i'm out of control
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
