did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
