is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
