I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
