so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
