i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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