I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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