another moral hangover. fuck.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
