Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
