Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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